Emotional Dashboard

Speeding up,
Rushing to reach the orange light.
Rushing to get out of here.

Always with the impression that danger one day might call,
Always with fear breathing down my shoulder,
That the blocking light will flash at midnight.

Looking right behind me,
I keep seeing the edge of a cliff.
Looking right ahead of me,
the road never gets shorter.

****************************************************

It all began with a simple question.
Naturally, I wanted an answer,
and even more obvious, I looked outside.

I packed my backpack.
stashed my clothes,
filled my water flask.

Checked once,
Checked twice,
The tar was in my pocket,
making sure that my dose of pitiness was well full.

Ready, set to go,
I slowly opened the main door,
thought I was ready,
thought I was fit,
to face the menacing sun.

Mistaken was I?
Some call it fate,
Others call it misfortune,
I call with the name of Life.

And on I went,
to seek the answer,
of a question which is born along with all of us.

On I strode,
with the hope of coming back smiling.

*****************************************************

Skins age,
Lungs shrink,
Hair recedes,
and vision blurs down.

Crackling of my bones,
as I walk and walk,
Silent screams of a concience,
which, unknowingly, I locked deep down inside.

Trying to keep up with the pace,
Determination,
a blessing and a curse,
makes you itch,
makes you pressing the throttle down,
just to reach.

****************************************************

Being told that darkness is part of the routine,
Being told that happiness is just a pill away.

Being told that the effort is in vain,
cause the unwanted guest wants to stay.

Hoping for a less bitter explanation,
Waiting by the watch for it to arrive.

Sitting down by a bus stop,
waiting and watching,
seeing the seconds drive by,
wondering,
from where did all this start.
Wondering,
how did I end up in here.

***************************************************

Like cancer,
the question spread even further.
Like cancer,
the question made me submit,
to a one big false truth.

No other option,
except to collect the remnants of a tired soul,
and head back to where it started.

No other option,
except to unlock the door again,
and start looking where I never thought I would look.

**************************************************

Do we need to live with grudges?
Do we need to see shame in the mirror?
Do we really need to survive, every single day?

Do you really need to make your emotions define who you are?
Do you really need to miss the present since the future seems to be a copy of the past?

Do I really need to keep dreading every evening,
Cause the day was not enough?

**************************************************

Stripping myself of all that is unnecessary,
Lying naked in front of reality,
the only reality of the present,
the only reality which exists now.