Revelation Of The Obvious

What are you really afraid of?
What is stopping you from crossing a line?
What is holding you back?
Is it pleasure?
Is it pain?
Is it the cravings for something less?

******************************************************

The other day I picked up a pencil and a rubber.
Like the previous days, I decided to pay the inner me a visit.
I prepared a nice warm cup of coffee,
and sat down on my wooden chair.

I adjusted my posture,
wanted to make sure that I am alert,
aware,
and most of all prepared.

I put the blindfold on,
and started to draw.
Concentrated,
breathing slowly,
I felt I was drawing something vivid,
I felt I was drawing something big.

I felt I could draw my own breath,
I felt I could draw my deepest connections.
I knew, I could see, through the darkness,
something which gave me strength and power.

******************************************************

I lost track of time,
Could no longer figure in which hour I was,
Could no longer figure in which minute I was.
Could no longer understand in which place I was.

But it did not matter,
this sea of tranquility is where I wanna be.
This universe of self exploration is a comfortable bubble.

No interactions,
No faces to recognize,
No behaviour to analyze,
No words to believe,
Nobody to love,
Nobody to judge.

No money to earn,
No junk to spend my money on.
Nothing,
Silence,
and eternity.

********************************************************

At some point I knew I picked the rubber up,
and I knew that I was erasing something,
but that is part of the game isn't it?

That is part of the perfection of the picture which I was drawing.
Erasing mistakes,
or rather,
erasing details, scenes, which I rather not have on paper.

It was part of the inspiration, I thought,
It was part of the muse which was coming from within...
or was it?

With the blindfold still on,
I decided to take a break,
To wash away the sweat,
The heat,
the tension.

I still did not want to know what I was drawing,
so I walked helplessly to where I should be heading now.

Helpless,
without the aid of vision.
Helpless,
without the aid of the closest presence.
Helpless,
without the chains of a routine.
Helpless,
from being alone,
surrounded by a shroud of silence,
where the only voices one could hear are screams from within.

*********************************************************

Okay I said,
Time to take this break.

Inside the yellow room,
I took the blindfold off.
Too many light I thought,
but hey,
it doesn't matter anymore.

I slowly opened the tap,
and looked at the reflection of the mirror right in front of me.
Or rather,
the reflection, right inside an eye,
an eye staring, without blinking.

Made me feel uncomfortable,
Made me feel concerned,
Made the air around me unbearable,
heavy.
Asphyxiating,
Suffocating,
Paralyzing,
Unable to move.
Unable to stare away,
I kept watching,
or rather,
I kept listening to the person on the other side.

"Reconnect with me", he said,
"Come back to me".

*******************************************************

Confused,
shaking,
shivering,
I walked back to the drawing room.

Was too scared to be in the dark again,
Was too scared to be in the blindfold again,

Time is up I said to myself,
time to see what I was drawing.

And to my surprise,
The drawing consisted only of a small cloud of smoke,
surrounding me.
I could only see someone,
presumably myself,
sitting down,
not noticing that time is actually passing,
and with it all the experience the waking life carries.

And to my surprise,
I noticed that this little cloud of smoke,
was then surrounded by what were once massive scenes,
of immense details,
of immense beauty,
now, rubbed off by my own hands.